Dear Therapist: My Wife’s Sister Touched Me Personally Inappropriately
Her behavior I express my discomfort toward me crossed the line, and my wife doesn’t take my concerns seriously when.
Editor’s Note: every, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small monday. Have actually a concern? E-mail her at dear. Therapist@theatlantic.com.
After some duration for a few years ago I married a wonderful woman after living with her. I will be a guy in my own 70s, and my partner is really a years that are few than me. She’s got an adult cousin that is on her behalf marriage that is third and a reputation within my wife’s household to be flirtatious and very manipulative. She’s got been residing a long way away from us and visits three to four times per year.
My sister-in-law never paid any unusual awareness of me until my family and I married. But from then on, every right time she visited, she’d single me personally down for compliments, saying I became “cute” and looking for reasons why you should touch me personally. As an example: “Your hair is indeed pretty. I’d like to touch it. ” That progressed to putting an supply around my arms after which coming as much as me personally and placing both arms around my neck while dealing with me personally. We never ever provided her any support or good reaction.
Because most of these things happened along with other family unit members around, I didn’t feel like i really could snap at her or push her away. If just I had discovered a method to quietly inform her that she had been making me personally uncomfortable and get her to please stop, but I happened to be nevertheless a new comer to the household rather than clear on myself together with them. Additionally, she appears to have my spouse emotionally bound to her to the level that my partner gets aggravated in the slightest critique of her cousin. My spouse generally seems to alternate between being intimidated by her cousin and feeling as though she’s got to safeguard her. (more…)